How to Find Yourself

Hmmm.

Who am I, really?

What am I supposed to be doing in my life?

Is this all there is to it?

I cannot count the numerous times when I had these questions in my head,

and on occasions with different “tunes” if you may call it that – both during the happy and sad times.

Both during the busyness and the solitude.

These questions have always kept me staring off into space,

or just wondering amidst the chaos of our daily lives.

But really, how does one find his purpose?

After so many tried and tested methods, here is a simple plan to finding out the answer to that big WHY that has been haunting us since day 1.

Finding yourself starts when you believe that you are worth something.

You are not some regular, off the mill, fresh from the factory product.

You are unique.

You are talented.

You are special.

You were made to do something great in this world.

Each of has a calling – We just have to find it.

2. Examine your past.

If you have ever wondered why your problems are still the same, your worries never change, your circumstances keep repeating themselves, chances are, you’ve never really learned from the mistakes of the past.

Most people say that you should forget the past and then move on.

However, you should never forget the lessons.

Try to make a chart or timeline documenting events that happened in your life, as early as you can remember.

Even the seemingly insignificant ones.

Usually the moments we take for granted are those moments that would lead us closer to finding our selves.

Take note of all of these special moments, and write down the possible lessons that you would get out of each moment.

LEARN and RE-LEARN everything that you can from documenting your past.

However, don’t be too emotional when you do this.

Be objective as possible, in order to clearly assess each moment – its value hidden behind the bruises or wounds.

More often than not, you will find two or more lessons that you should have applied in your life, but never really got yourself into using it, due to many reasons.

The lessons you learn and re-learn will serve as clues to figuring out the person that you are today.

Then –

3. Challenge yourself in solitude.

After figuring out your current make-up, go find a place with no distractions, far away from any form of external pressure or influence, and start asking yourself the serious questions you’ve been avoiding to answer, or you never thought mattered before.

What makes you happy and feel good about yourself?

What are you good at?

What would you do if money wasn’t an issue?

What have you always dreamed of doing?

What values would you stick with no matter what?

Are you truly happy with your situation right now?

What have you done before that you are most/least proud of?

What is it that you want the most?

What issues in your life right now have you been ignoring and how do you plan to address those?

What is it about your life right now – your career, relationships, health, financial situation, emotional situation, etc. – that you love? Hate?

What are you willing to do to change your life immediately?

What are the things that you wouldn’t change?

Challenge yourself to answer every question in the book, be very clear with your answers, then write them down in a journal that you can easily access.

Then –

4. Act.

After the lessons are learned and re-learned, and after figuring out what it is that you want most in life, start acting on your answers and pursue those things that will make you feel happy, content, complete.

Decide to change your life and start now.

Remember though, that you cannot please everybody with your actions – what’s important is your view of yourself.

Don’t act based on someone else’s standards. Set your own.
Be independent and self-sufficient, as you are solely responsible for your well-being.

Act based on the positive things you believe in, and change those beliefs that are damaging to yourself once and for all.

5. If you fail, learn quickly, then act again.

The road to self-discovery is a bumpy road filled with detours or dead-ends. Don’t fret.

Accept these detours and dead-ends.

Finding yourself is a process that shouldn’t be constricted by time.

There are many things to try, choices to make, people to love or leave, the tasks are endless.

Be open to the opportunities that come your way.

At the end of the day, what’s important is the journey to your self-discovery, and once you’ve reached that point when you can finally say, “hey, I am now the person that I want to be”, then all of life’s blows and confusions would be worth it.

• DP sources and inspiration: *U.B.E. and feastalabang talks

*U.B.E. – DP’s Universal Bank of Experience