Your Diskarteng Pinay inhouse “dudes” would give you the no-holds-barred truth when it comes to our woes, err, questions 🙂 Just keep sending your questions in, and one or two of our guys would let you in on their secrets, tips, and much needed advise for the issues that have been haunting us since. Our first question comes from Andy, and she gets a thorough analysis and answer from Mr. Shadowbomb. We hope this helps!
Hi Ms. DP!
I don’t know if I’m just being paranoid, or my BF is really such a flirt. I always catch him looking at other women, and what’s worse, I always find texts from unknown numbers in his cell. I know I’m not supposed to snoop, but I just couldn’t help it. What should I do?
Andy
Ok, seriously you need to be a little bit more specific in your story-telling, because honestly I’m not sure what to make of it.  Under what circumstances did you become a couple? How long have you been together? What exactly is the nature of these texts from those unknown numbers?
Nevertheless, let’s just assume a few things. First, I assume that during the courtship stage, you were single and he flashed you a look that you couldn’t resist. He sweet-talked his way to you and the rest is history. What about his side of the story though? Was he really single when he courted you? If the answer is no (or even a “sort of…”), then I suggest you run to the nearest exit because your boy is probably eye-ing his future ex-girlfriend right in front of you. Remember, if you were his other woman, then chances are he’s got another woman lined up after you. If he was genuinely single, then keep reading.
A second assumption is that you haven’t exactly been together for a while. It’s either that or you two don’t really spend a lot of time together to connect. I say this because normally after a while, a girlfriend would be able to call out her boyfriend on his “bad behavior”. Last I checked, you could always ask him about it. Either way, this basically tells me that you aren’t connecting like you should. Don’t run for the nearest exit yet. Talk to him and pick his brain, and then tell him how you feel about him looking at other women. Do NOT go straight into saying he’s a flirt, because he’d get all defensive.  Say these exact words, “when you look or stare at other women, I feel ___.” See when you do this, you point out a specific thing he does, and you mention how it affects you. Remember, he can’t control your feelings, but he can control what he does. If he cares about your feelings, he’ll either change, or he’ll start wearing shades so that you don’t notice his wandering eyes.
A third assumption is that you’re not exactly sure what to make of the texts from those unknown numbers. If they were the raunchy, sexually charged texts, then we wouldn’t even be having this exchange (otherwise I’d have to send you a virtual slap? hmm, might be harsh, a virtual nudge perhaps? wake up missy!). Just to be sure though, do NOT snoop around his phone behind his back, and do NOT experiment with him using an unknown number. He’ll just give you crap about you not trusting him, and then he’ll sleaze his way into making you feel bad. If he’s ever used the argument, “I’m like this because you did so and so…” then you know what I’m talking about. What you can do though is casually ask if you can borrow his phone, or you can ask to check his phone when someone texts. He’ll ask you why you want to see and from there you can give him grief about not trusting you or not being trustworthy himself. You’ll know if he’s hiding something (hint: check the deleted items folder).
Lastly, stop being so paranoid. Guys hate that. Seriously. Paranoia usually sends guys running the other way. What’s worse, if things end up badly, he might end up blaming you for suffocating him with your paranoid. Just be confident and ask to be treated the way you deserve to be treated. Any man would more willingly straighten up for a confident woman as opposed to a paranoid one.
Mr. Shadowbomb